Some Actions Hurt Worse Than Words
by AlphaWolfOfRed67
Summary: It's small 'clank' as it hit the bottom could be heard as a nuclear bomb in Sam's head. Loud, clear and affirmative. **Amulet Fix** Coda- Dark Side Of The Moon- Sam kept the amulet and Dean finds it.
1. Chapter 1

Sam could only stand there in silent hurt as he watched the door close, as he watched Dean walk out. A flood of emotions washed over him threatening to take him under, to drown him with their despair. He couldn't get his limbs to work. They refused to. It might have been the shock that settled into his body that made him feel incredibly numb or it could be the pain that worked its way to his chest and had his heart pounding fiercely. It was loud even to his own ears but that might be because of the deadly silence filling the air.

Sam stood there staring at the small trash can beside the door because inside of that tin of metal was an item that held special meaning. An item that was just tossed carelessly away as if it meant absolutely nothing. It's small 'clank' as it hit the bottom could be heard as a nuclear bomb in Sam's head. Loud, clear and affirmative. The only difference was that to Sam it was worse than a bomb and more destructive than an explosive but with similar effect. It was something that could destroy everything in it's path, that difference being that instead of a well armed bomb ready to explode it was something much, much worse.

It was words, it was action. It was Dean. It was his brothers way of saying, 'I give up on you,' as he held the small necklace over the trash can where he let it dangle for a few seconds, just long enough for Sam to watch, then let it drop.

Dean didn't give a side way glance behind him as he opened the door and shut it leaving Sam alone.

Sam filled the distance between him and the trash with small steps. He slowly bent over, hesitating only for a fraction of a second, and picked the amulet up from its discarded place at the bottom. He stared at it. He remembered giving it to Dean as a present on christmas and the smile that broke out on his brothers face when he unwrapped it was enough to make Sam's own grin grow. With amazement in his eyes and a simple, 'I love it, Sam,' Dean had placed it over his neck and that's where it remained. Dean never took it off, not even when he showered. It stayed with Dean wherever he went, resting there against his chest comfortably.

Until now.

Sam clutched it in his hand. He felt that phantom pain, that ghost of a touch squeezing his chest painfully. He has been punched, cut, stabbed, choked but none of the physical blows he got compared to the way he felt emotionally right then and there.

It was a scale all its own and Sam was feeling the weight of Dean's action crushing him to his core.

He sighed deeply, trying to regain his composure. Sam placed the object safety into the pocket of his jacket before walking out of the room.

* * *

A/N: Okay, until I know which story in writing, Fighting Darkness or err, the other one XD (Forgot the name) Imma write this small Amulet-fix. Because I hated that episode. Like, alot. An if I were Sam I would have picked the Amulet up and kept it. Simple as that XD. Will be 2 to 3 chapters long.

 ** _Disclaimer_** \- I do not own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester. Oh but if I did, the things I could do...**Cough cough** ignore that.


	2. Chapter 2

_**The truth is, neither our love for the person, nor their love for us, nor our memories, are in the possession. The love is in us, and so are the memories. Letting go of the possession doesn't mean we lose the love or the memories.**_

" **Leo Babauta** "

* * *

 _Tell me, what's right, when you give up,_

 _Throw away precious memories, you let them go,_

 _Out of hurt, you're resigned and your bite is venomous,_

 _And you let it go, you let it drop._

 _To the ground with a clatter, it's useless to you,_

 _Because you've lost faith...in me._

 _And the person you see,_

 _Isn't the person you see,_

 _It's no longer sentimental..._

* * *

Sam never mentioned the amulet to Dean and Dean never said a word about it.

Sam kept it close in a place that it would never get lost, it would never disappear or leave his sight because it remained a constant weight against his chest, always reminding him that it was there and not in the grimy trash can back in some cheap motel. Sometimes, when he was asleep, he would get plagued by nightmares that were so surreal and vivid that he would find himself locked in their depths as they sunk their sharp claws right into his mind. They kept him in their grasp as he re-lived one of his worse moments. Some would call him a girl if they knew that dream involved a certain amulet being thrown away. What they would never understand was how a piece of Sam was also tossed out along with it.

The nightmare always started the same way. Him and Dean would be back in the so called 'heaven' one moment and be standing in the motel the next. Sam would stand there with a baited breath as he watched so many emotions flicker across Dean's usual controlled and calm expression, his shoulders tense with barely controlled anger. Time seemed to move slower as his brothers extended hand, his fingers holding onto the black cord, allowed the amulet to fall, dangling over the trash for agonizing seconds.

'Dean, please.' Sam would silently plead even though Dean couldn't hear him and even if he could he doubted it would have done much good seeing how his brother's mind was filled with hurt and betrayal, hurt and betrayal to a heaven, Sam's heaven, that wasn't even a heaven to begin with.

Sam's most precise, his most memorable memories were of him and Dean. It wasn't with a family that wasn't his own even if it was a happy memory it certainly was not one of his fondest. He couldn't understand why Dean couldn't see that.

The amulet seemed to fall in slow motion the moment Dean let go and the light of the room would bounce off the metal making it glint and Sam watched. He just kept watching until its image faded in thin air. Everything went black and Sam was falling back but before he woke up, before he bolted up out of bed with sweat glistening over his forehead, his heart pounding unnaturally out of rhythm, Dean's cold voice penetrated the dark and it was loud and harsh.

 ** _Sorry, Sam but I don't believe in you..._**

 ** _I don't believe._**

His brother didn't say them out loud and he didn't need to for the small thud from the metal hitting solid bottom was words spoken unsaid. They hurt worse than a full force punch and cut through his soul like a sharp knife. Dean didn't need to say anything. Actions speak louder than words, at least that small action spoke higher volumes and no word could hurt worse than that.

Sam would wake with a start as he yelled 'no', frantically trying to grab the amulet as it fell but it always vanished. His fingers never brushed up against the material, he never felt its touch because it disappeared before he could even grasp it and Dean' words were always the last he heard and pitch black was always the last thing he saw before his eyes snapped open and he was sitting up in the bed. His chest would heave as he breathed hard and deep as if he ran a marathon.

His first instinct was to touch his chest for some kind of comfort because he would always feel the amulet right there around his neck and it calmed him. Although Dean tossed it away it wasn't left in the grimy apartment in a dirty trash can simply because Sam refused to leave it there. It was something irreplaceable. Dean may be angry for a while but eventually he believed his brother would regret throwing it out and maybe, just maybe, he would want it back where it belonged. Around Dean's neck where it should be.

Sam ran a tired hand through his long locks of brown hair. He was sitting up in his bed clutching the necklace in his hand. He was shaking only slightly but it was enough to make it noticeable. He took a deep breath to calm his erratic beating chest.

He glanced to the bed closest to the door where his brother was peacefully sleeping. Dean's face was turned towards him. His features were smoothed out, his mouth agape, and snoring lightly, laying on his stomach. Dean's arms were crossed underneath the pillow. It was an action Dean always did for easy access to his gun that laid untouched until it was needed.

Sam laid back down. He stared up at the ceiling. His mind was anything but silent, filled with endless thoughts as he pondered. Would Dean even miss the amulet? Would he even want it back? As it is, his brother already seemed to forget about it, when it was all Sam could think about.

He glanced back at Dean's bed when he heard a low snort. Dean had turned his head to the other side.

Sam never mentioned the amulet...

* * *

 _Cant you see, I'm bleeding, my hearts tattered,_

 _I see no light, I'm thrown into a dark abyss of nothing,_

 _Because you don't believe in me,_

 _Your faith fell because you believe,_

 _In what you think you see,_

 _Actions hurt worse than words,_

 _Because they speak loud and I'm a listening,_

 _My brother, i'm sorry, forgive me,_

 _For I don't see..._

 _Why you believe so little, in me._

* * *

 _A/N- Okay guys so ill be starting on the story 'Fighting Darkness'! Most of you guys wanted to see that one first! But I have two more chapters to go on this one._


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was reaching it's peak over the horizon. The bright orange and red accompanied it as it shinned in vibrant colors all around, surrounding the ball of scorching heat making it seem threatening. That's all the sun was, a big ball of red and orange with flames higher than hell's fire as they swirled and crashed with intensity, mocking everything in it's path, saying one day everything's gonna burn in my wrath. Yet right in that moment it was the most beautiful thing Sam has ever seen. The clouds of white floated up into the air constantly moving, constantly shifting as they swiftly made their way across ocean blue in slow strides.

When he thought about it, fire was possibly the worst way to go. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to continuously burn in forever flames that melted skin and bone. The agony that would be to feel your skin bubble as it melted away in a burnt crisp was hard to contemplate and it scared the hell out of him because in the hours to come it would be his fate.

He let Lucifer out. He had to put him back in. Even if it meant he would have to suffer in hell to do it. He had to right his wrongs and there was only one way to do that and even then it didn't wash away all that he's done, what he had unleashed. No amount of apologies or trying to make up for it can change the mistakes he made and he's made some incredible ones. Mistakes that will burn with him in justified means as a constant reminder that he deserved what awaited him in the next few hours. It still didn't make it any easier because in all honesty Sam was scared shitless. He had to say yes to Lucifer and he had to make sure he didn't let the devil take control of him before he could toss him back where he belonged, back in the cage.

Sam was perched on one of the many junker cars of Bobby's junk yard. His back was pressed against the cracked window with one leg drawn up and the other laid across the hood. He stared out towards the half hidden sun. Minutes were ticking, his time was getting short and all he could think about was the afterlife. He always knew he was going to hell but he never knew just how afraid he would be when that time came.

The sound of crunching gravel came towards him and he didn't look in the direction of the noise, knowing it had to be either Bobby or Dean. A voice quickly followed. "Sam?"

Bobby's worried voice called his name and Sam turned to find Bobby leaning his weight against the side of the car Sam rested on. He had concern in his orbs that Sam's seen countless times in the man. It made him smile when he thought about how much of a father Bobby has been to them.

"Hey, Bobby." Sam gave him a small smile.

Bobby gazed up and sighed. "I, uh, I want you to know that I don't hold anything against you, Sam." He stated sympathetically, truthfully.

Sam was about to say something but Bobby held up a firm hand to stop him from saying anything. He looked at Sam with sad eyes and Sam knew he had more to say so he clamped his mouth shut and listened as Bobby spoke his peace.

"I said some crappy things, son. One thing in particular I am not proud of. I know I said it before but, I didn't mean it when I said to lose my number. No matter how mad I was or how hurt you and Dean are the sons I never had." Bobby took a deep breath. "Dammit, Sam. I'm not okay with you willingly jumping into the cage. Hell, no one is but I get it."

Sam looked at Bobby in surprise. He wasn't expecting the sudden heartfelt words, the confession Bobby just made. The moment Bobby told him to lose his number, the hurtful words that were thrown at him, he had felt a piercing pain in his chest that imbedded itself tightly into his heart because like Dean Bobby was his family and they were the two people that could crush his soul with just a few choice of words. He felt the ghostly touch of sorrow washing over him with the weight of his actions and the consequences of his choices. At that moment, when Bobby stared at him with hate in his eyes and rage in his posture, he truly felt that there was no better end for him than death and even after he learned Bobby was being possessed at the time he still couldn't discard those words. Even if it was a demon it was still Bobby and those feelings were there, buried deep or barely hanging over the edge, they were there.

Sam swallowed. His throat suddenly felt very dry. "Bobby, don't. It's okay. What you said? It was true. I gotta make this right." A sudden determination lit a spark inside him. He would place Lucifer back into the cage. "I have to make this right."

Bobby shook his head. "You won't be alone. You have me and that idjit brother of yours." He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder for a gesture of comfort before dropping his hand back down and smiling. "You two. You're gonna be the death of me."

Sam snickered. Bobby often stated that fact when either him or Dean got into a situation that ended bloody or just down right horrible. Which was usually the case when one of them was on the verge of dying and gave Bobby a heart attack as a aftermath.

"Thank you. For everything, Bobby." Sam nodded.

Bobby made a 'humph' sound when something caught his attention. "So that's where it went."

Sam's brows came together in confusion at Bobby's statement. It took a moment to realize where Bobby's line of sight was, where his eyes rested, before he understood that he was gesturing towards the small black cord around his neck that remained half hidden under his shirt. Sam grabbed it and lifted it out from the shirt and studied it in his hands, the cord still snug against his skin, likes he don't many times since fishing it out of the garbage.

Sam cleared his throat. "Yeah."

Bobby eyed him. "Sam, whatever Dean did or said you know the idjit didn't mean it. You know how he gets when he has a pissy fit. You both got to much of John's genes."

That made Sam snort. "Guess you're right." He knew exactly how much alike Dean was to their father.

Sam was the odd one out, though. He resembled nothing of their father. They never saw eye to eye, to busy fighting on a regular basis to even know each other. He would never understand how Dean got that Sam was more like John than he was. Sam just didn't see it.

Bobby stepped away from the car. "Dean does things without thinkin. I'm not sure what happened, if he gave it back to you or what-"

"Or threw it in the trash-" Sam cut in, still fingering the small object.

"Or threw it in the trash. Point is, Dean's got a habit of throwing tantrums. He'll regret it later and we both know he will be sorry as hell. My question is, are you going to let him know you picked it up?" Bobby asked skeptically, knowing how things went with the brothers and he highly doubted Sam would even breath a word of the amulet to Dean.

Sam closed his eyes as he pondered the question. He had no intention of telling Dean that he had picked it out of the trash and now wore it securely around his neck. It wasn't that he didn't want to give it back to Dean, but, he knows his brother and Dean was still pissed about his heaven. All Dean would do would throw it away for a second time. "I don't know." He answered truthfully knowing that if he didn't give it to Dean before he went on the suicide mission to put Lucifer back in the box that he would never be able to give it back.

"Gotcha. Well Dean will be out here soon. God knows the kids worried about ya." Bobby emphasized.

Sam nodded, his lips pushed out. "Yeah. Okay."

Bobby started to walk away, back towards the house but he stopped briefly to look back at Sam and say, "Remember what I said, Sam. I'm damn proud of you kid."

Sam, with wide shocked eyes, watched as Bobby disappeared into the house.

It was the first time Bobby has stated that he was actually proud of him. It was hard to believe seeing all that's happened, what he had done, but when he said it Sam saw the honesty in his eyes and the pride that shined past blue orbs.

It was a second later that Dean appeared and was walking towards him. Sam quickly placed the necklace back under his shirt.

 _Are you going to let him know you picked it up?_

Bobby's question still spoke in his mind as if he was asking it again and Sam didn't know what the answer was, but, as Dean made it to him, as he bent over opening the small cooler to take out two beers, handing one to Sam, Sam smiled because they were going to be okay. Dean's worried filled emerald eyes were the same as always, displaying so much concern for Sam when ever his brother was seriously hurt, or, in this case, about to jump into a dark deep hole and into hell. A place no one in their right mind would willingly go.

At the end of the day Sam had jumped into the pit taking Lucifer as well as Michael with him. Sadly, along with Adam as well.

And the amulet was dangling around his neck as he fell.

* * *

A/N: There is possibly about three more chapters. Which they will be alot longer so. Sorry this was supposed to be a one shot or whatever XD But oh well. I know exactly how Dean's gonna see the necklace. Can't wait to write it.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Warning, this chapter is a little emotional. Just a little. Lol it can be considered a missing scene as well at the end. But anyway, hope ya enjoy it! Oh and try listening to the song while reading this.

 _ **Song lyrics-** I See Fire By Ed S. _

* * *

_Oh, misty eye of the mountain below,_  
 _Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls,_  
 _And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke,_  
 _Keep watching over Durin's sons._

 _If this is to end in fire,_  
 _Then we should all burn together,_  
 _Watch the flames climb high into the night._

* * *

Fire all around, reaching higher and higher, they overtake the air with black smoke and harsh flames. They burn to the touch, their essence venomous and cruel, eating away at everything they touch. The light that illuminates from those flames are anything but comforting as it bounces off everything, making teary eyes seem like fine glass, sparkling with reflection, those flames dance. Skin burns, it bubbles and pops, melting away to nothing, to the bone, it succumbs to burnt flesh.

Over and over again.

Pain is all he feels in the pits of hell as the fire roar with triumph. They bite into his skin like sharp fangs, sucking out his life all so slowly and he feels their harsh sting as he continues to suffer. His cries are like an echo, continuous and loud but they go unheard and they die away with him only to start back again as agonizing screams. Each time its an echo before its silence.

One moment he would be alive and aware before he loses all sense and fades away along with his voice.

Even through the torture that binds him, the pain that wraps around him like a veil, there was always that one thing that gave him the comfort he needed.

When the flames grow, the light is blinding, it touches metal making it shimmer.

The amulet, wrapped safely around his neck, rests against his bloodied skin. It never burns. The flames can't touch it because its essence is pure, untouchable, unreachable. Only Sam can feel it's soft light, a light that's much stronger than those dancing flames that surround him as it flows through him, giving him comfort and strength.

It was as if his brother was right there with him, protecting him from the dangers to close, to near.

* * *

 _Calling out father oh,_  
 _Stand by and we will,_  
 _Watch the flames burn auburn on,_  
 _The mountain side_

 _And if we should die tonight,_  
 _Then we should all die together,_  
 _Raise a glass of wine for the last time._

* * *

Sam kept that as his his source of sanity. No matter how many times his skin burned, his soul got shredded with each last dying breath he took, the amulet lit the way through the darkness and he held on. Even as Lucifer taunted when he cut into his flesh unmercifully, when he tortured Sam with harsh memories of Jess's and Dean's death, Sam held on and didn't let go. Even when all he could see was fire.

* * *

 _Now I see fire,_  
 _Inside the mountain,_  
 _I see fire,_  
 _Burning the trees._  
 _And I see fire,_  
 _Hollowing souls,_  
 _I see fire,_  
 _Blood in the breeze,_  
 _And I hope that you remember me._

* * *

Sam held on.

•••Supernatural•••

Sam remembered everything.

The wall that kept his memories locked away in a perfectly sealed box was now a broken mess of ruble all thanks to Cas, who, broke that protective barrier.

He remembered the way his body repeatedly burned, the despair as he felt it rip away his skin until there was nothing left but ashes. Every detail was so fine and accurate as if he was right back in the cage with Lucifer. It had him gripping his head in his hands as pain pulsated throughout not only his body but his mind as well. He heard his own screams as they filled the back of his mind, those images as clear as day, of the flames tickling up the length of his neck to his face, slowly devouring him.

His body was weak. Sweat glistened on his skin as he pushed himself to go after Dean and Bobby. When he woke up alone and in the panic room, the same room that made his skin crawl with remembrance of his withdrawal, with a gun and piece of paper at his side, he knew something was wrong. He pushed back the pain as worry for his family was much stronger than the memories threatening to drag him under, to break him with their painful experience.

They knew Cas was on the edge of no going back but Sam also knew that Cas wasn't lost completely. Even if the angel had brought down the walls that held away Sam's hell, the younger Winchester didn't hold a grudge. It was bound to happen sooner or later. After all, he had already had flashbacks of what he done soulless. It came with seizures and kick ass headaches but eventually Sam remembered some of the many things he had done. The wall could only hold for so long before his memories came flooding back in a wave of truth and guilt. Sam thought he was prepared for that but turns out it might be the very thing that destroys him.

Sam wasted no time stealing a truck and heading to the address scribbled on the paper he held in his hand, ignoring the throb in his head and the way his hands shook in affliction.

* * *

 _And if the night is burning_  
 _I will cover my eyes_  
 _For if the dark returns_  
 _Then my brothers will die_  
 _And as the sky is falling down_

 _Now I see fire,_  
 _Inside the mountain,_  
 _I see fire,_  
 _Burning the trees._  
 _And I see fire,_  
 _Hollowing souls,_  
 _I see fire._

 _I see fire._

•••Supernatural•••

Sam brought the beat up truck to a solid stop as the familiar form of the Impala could be seen up ahead. He took in a deep intake when he noticed Dean's baby was sporting it's wheels in the air instead of being planted on the ground like they should be. The car was turned over on its top and the doors were spread open which means his brother and Bobby were more than likely not in the car but it still didn't settle the panic that flared to life at the fear of what might have happened to them.

Were they hurt? Taken? What happened?

"Gah!" An intense pressure shot up his head and he slammed his lids shut as an image burned behind his eyes.

 _Fire came to life angrily around him. The heat spiked as yellow and orange covered his body without mercy, claiming his flesh as their own. He could see them creeping at his sides and growing taller as they continued to flay him alive. One single word forming on his lips, a scream tore from his throat, past clenched teeth and anguished eyes._

 _"Dean!"_

Sam made for the handle. He opened the door and fell to the ground with a thud. He rolled over on his back, gasping for a breath that refused to surface. His lungs burned as he struggled to breath. It was as if he was burning all over again and his whole body seized in pain.

Sam was finally able to breath, his lungs filling with the air he so desperately needed. He panted with effort. He could still feel the tingling of the flames, the tickling of the heat that consumed him head to toe but that was nothing compared to the fear he felt for Dean and Bobby as he attempted to stand on shaky limbs, forgetting the phantom pain that still crushed his chest. He had to get to them.

He stumbled forward. He was surprised he wasn't falling face forward on the pavement. The broken and shattered glass from the impalas windows lay forgotten on the ground, crunching under Sam's weight as he stepped up to the car that was now bent metal in several places.

He couldn't count how many times the impala had been fixed already. It took more beatings than Sam or Dean had on a daily basis. Each time Dean would put her back together, brand new from front to rear. His brothers love for the car was unconditionally and Sam had to wonder just how weird that was. It definitely wasn't normal, Dean and his sick fascination with a car. Sam understood why Dean cherished her. The impala was home. A place Sam and Dean could always go to in the wake of devastation because she was right there waiting for them. It was the one thing that was constant, always there.

He looked at the car and sighed, knowing Dean's going to have a lot of work to do to restore her again.

Looking around, Sam spotted a large building off to the side of the road. He knew that was where Dean was.

Sam stumbled back as the same ache in his head hit him full force. He shook his head to clear the horrid image, willing it away. His balance faltered and he had to step to the side to keep from falling forward.

Once his mind was clear and he could think straight, determination shinning bright in his eyes, he made his way towards the building.

•••Supernatural•••

Sam walked down the long hallway, not knowing where he was going or if he was even going the right way. He had only one thought running through the mess that was his mind. One thing that kept him pushing ahead as he used the wall for support when his frame would falter or he got a sudden dizzy spell. Only one thing keeping him from killing over to the pain that wouldn't subside.

That was to find Dean.

He didn't have long to wait as voices floated towards him. At first he couldn't make them out. They were underwater to him but the closer he got the more clear they became.

"Listen to me." He recognized the voice immediately and he fastened his steps as Dean's words flowed, getting high in volume which each step he took. "Listen. I know there is alot of bad water under the bridge. Okay? But we were family once. I'd have died for you. Almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you..."

Sam's brows came together in confusion. He didn't have to see his brothers face to know he was on the verge of breaking. His voice cracked a little at the end, desperation clear in that one question as he pleaded with whoever, and he didn't have to be right there to know it was Cas, Dean only ever talked that way to the people he cared about. The only time he got emotional.

"Please." That one word made Sam tense. He never heard that word come from Dean often and when it did it held every meaning and emotion it was suppose to carry.

Sam grunted and pushed himself off the wall.

"I've lost Lisa. I've lost Ben. And now i've lost Sam."

 _No Dean. I'm right here_ , Sam silently thought as he listened to his brother's resigned voice about losing the two other people that mattered to Dean.

A moment of silence. "Don't make me lose you, too."

Sam saw a door way, the door completely open and he could see blood drawn in a symbol on the wall. Broken glass lay along the floor with tables turned over. He honestly didn't want to know what went down while he was playing sleeping beauty but whatever happened in that room wasn't anything good.

"You don't need this kind of juice anymore Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all." Dean's tone changed into seriousness with a hint of urgency making Sam quicken in his advance to get through the door.

Once in, he took in the scene in front of him. Dean was standing in front of Cas looking at him for some kind of reasoning. He was favoring his arm close to his body, he dully noted. Bobby was no better. He didn't seem hurt but his eyes were wide in both fear and shock as his gaze went from Dean to the angel, who stared at the two with a blank expression.

"You're just saying that because I won. Because you're afraid." Cas stated calmly.

None of them seemed to notice his presence as he quietly made his way across the room. He spotted the angel blade laying abandoned on one the tables that hadn't been collateral damage like the others. He took it in his hand and slowly advanced on the oblivious, unaware angel.

"You're not my family Dean. I have no family."

Sam tried to ignore the hurt that flashed in Dean's emerald orbs. Cas's words had hurt. Even a part of him felt the familiar prick of needles stabbing his heart as he listened to Cas's toneless statement.

He mustered up what little strength he had and drove the angel blade deep within Cas's back. The moment he heard skin tare as the weapon penetrated the first layer of tissue before burying itself deep within Cas's insides, he felt regretful.

Even as angry as he was that Cas broke the wall, despite what the angel just said, they were family and he just stabbed him in the back.

Bobby's large eyes were the first to land on Sam in surprise.

Dean's mouth dropped, his eyes also resembled that of a soft ball as he looked up. His gaze locked on Sam and relief swept over those hard features at seeing his brother up and vertical but as for surprise it matched that of Bobby's.

Sam grunted. He was quickly losing strength, pushing the blade in took more effort than it should have. His hand was still on the hilt of the blade but he released it and stepped, more along the lines of stumbled, back with a heavy breath.

Cas reached back and easily pulled the blade out with a sickening 'pop'.

Sam swallowed. It had zero effect which was well enough confusing considering he was an angel that just got stabbed by the one thing that killed angels.

Cas brought it forward. He examines it for a second before placing it lightly on the table. "I'm glad you made it, Sam."

Dean stared at Sam. He didn't like the pale shade that took over Sam's usual dark skin. Seeing his brother awake and walking around eased his worry some but not all of his concern vanished.

"But the angel blade wont work because i'm not an angel anymore."

Sam frowned and he looked at Dean in question. As did Bobby but his attention was glued to Cas. All three of them had a look of disbelief on their faces. Dean just stood with a look of bewilderment.

"I'm your new god." Cas said with a hint of pride as, his head slightly raised. "A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love onto me, your lord or I shall destroy you."

Now Sam's eyes enlarged. The room was silent as they all stood tense and unmoving, at a total loss to what the hell was going on.

The look in Castiel's eyes were unnerving.

•••Supernatural•••

The air was thick and tense. No one moved or made a sound as they stared into Cas's strange eyes. There was a look in them that was ferial like one wrong move would be the last thing any of them did. It was enough to keep them frozen on the spit as Cas stared them down.

Bobby broke the silence. "Well. Alright then. This good or you want the whole forehead to the carpet thing." He asked getting down on the floor on both knees.

Neither Sam or Dean did the same action until Bobby gestured to them by saying, "Guys."

Dean looked down at Bobby, to Sam, before looking at Cas and slowly started to sink down.

Sam wobbled unsteadily on his feet but managed to bend down only to stop when Cas spoke up.

"Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it. You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear."

Sam looked at him skeptically. It was as if it was a whole different person standing before them, a whole new Cas. He stepped to the side so that he could look into Cas's eyes that were somehow darker than his normal shade of blue. "Cas-"

"Sam. You have nothing to say to me. You stabbed me in the back." He looked straight into Sam's eyes and what Sam in Cas's made him want to reel back.

Cas looked at Bobby. "Get up." He demanded with ease which Bobby obliged and slowly rose to his feet.

"Cas. Come on man. This isn't you." Dean tried to get through to the old Castiel.

Cas made it matter if fact as he looked at Dean and simply replied, "The old Cas you knew is gone"

"So what then!" Dean eyed him in disbelief. "Kill us?" He asked knowing they were all on shaky ground and he doubted Cas would hesitate to end any of their lives.

It made things that much harder as they started to believe that Castiel was in fact just gone. Dean didn't want to believe it but the man standing before them was like a whole other person, looked like Cas, sounded like Cas but wasn't the Cas they all knew.

"What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless. You wouldn't dare move against me again. That would be pointless."

Sam's breathing picked up. He was having a hard time keeping his vision from blacking out. His head pounded with the effect of a nail being driven into wood by a hammer. He could feel each hit as it sent sparks of pain throughout his brain but he dared not take his eyes off Cas except for blinking when black specs entered his eye sight unwelcomed.

"So I have no need to kill you. Not now." Cas looked down, a smile spreading along his face. "Besides. Once you were my favorite pets before you turned and bit me."

Dean didn't buy it. "Who are you?" He asked again not believing that Cas was god but also not wanting to believe his friend was just gone.

"I'm God." Was the simple answer.

Dean glanced over at Sam. His brother was barely holding it together. His concern went up as he took in the way Sam held himself on wobbly legs. Sam's body was unbalanced as he rocked from side to side involuntarily. Sam was about to collapse, Dean could see that and he had already lost Lisa and Ben. He thought he had lost Sam and that was a feeling he would never get used to but he was right there. A little worse for wear but he was alive and breathing. For how much longer he wasn't sure because Sam looked dead on his feet.

"If you stay in your place, you may live in my kingdom. If you rise up, I will strike you down. Not doing so well are you Sam?" Cas's attention averted to Sam, who was fighting to breath regularly.

Sam was staring intently at the floor but moved his pain filled eyes up to meet Cas's cold ones. He looked to find Dean's worried gaze on him before turning back to Cas and blurting out, "I'm fine." Of course clearing his throat was a sign that he was anything but so.

Sam looked back at Dean whose eyes never left his brothers fragile form. "I'm fine." He said a little more determined even though he was clearly not.

"You said you'd fix him! You promised!" Dean's voice rose, his anger rising with it masking the concern he was currently feeling.

"If you stood down. Which you hardly did."

Dean opened his mouth to say something but he was rendered speechless.

"Be thankful for my mercy." Cas said evenly. "I could have casted you back to the pit."

Sam flinched. He never wanted to re-live that again. He didn't doubt Cas would throw him back and it made his skin crawl.

"Cas. Come on. This is nuts. You can turn this around. Please!" Dean pleaded but Cas only stared at him.

"I hope for your sake this is the last time you see me." Cas disappeared leaving them dumbfounded.

Bobby licked his lips and his attention went on Sam, who, was now looking straight a head, his expression unreadable.

Sam felt something warm and wet slide down from his nose. His head jerked suddenly. The throb was back but more intense.

"Sam? You okay?" Dean's question seemed to get past the ringing in his ears and he turned to give him an answer and that's when everything went to hell. Literally.

The image of him burning flashed through his mind like lighting, striking his fragile brain with a velocity of one-thousand bolts of electricity. He bended in on himself as the pain went up a full ten notches and all he could see was the flames, red hot against his skin as he fell to his knees. He felt something dig into the palm of his hand as he fell, it's sting just a mere bug bite but it was lost because all he could feel was his flesh being sizzled and fried. His mind just shut down.

* * *

 _I see fire (oh you know I saw a city burning out)_  
 _And I see fire (feel the heat upon my skin, yeah)_  
 _And I see fire,_  
 _And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side._

 _I see fire._

•••Supernatural•••

Dean raced forward as Sam fell. He wasn't fast enough to catch him before he hit his knees but he was at his side when Sam's eyes rolled up inside his head and he titled to the side. Dean caught him before he could hit the ground. Sam fell into his arms nothing more than a motionless lump, his head hitting Dean's firm chest.

Dean wrapped one arm around Sam and used the other to lightly tap his brothers cheek. "Sam? Sammy!" His panic rose.

Bobby slid to his knees, keeping in mind the scattered glass along the floor. His attention went to Sam's bloodied hand. "Dean. I think he cut himself on the glass when he fell."

Dean looked down to see blood coating Sam's hand and he carefully examined it to find a deep cut in the shape of a 'V' on the palm of Sam's hand. Dean hissed. "Dammit. That's the least he needs."

"Let's get him to back to the house." Bobby suggested.

"Yeah." Dean agreed throwing Sam's uninjured hand over his neck as he wrapped an arm around his waist.

Bobby moved to help but Dean shook his head. "I got him."

Bobby sighed at Dean's stubbornness but nodded. "Knowing Sam, he didn't walk here. I doubt the kid could have anyhow. He could barely stand."

"I know. Lets just get back. I need to check him over. Stitch his hand." Dean supported Sam's weight and started walking out of the room. He would glance worriedly at Sam ever so often as they walked out of the building. Sam didn't even make a sound or indication that he was alive. His breathing was so slow, too slow, and Dean had to check by placing his hand near Sam's nose to feel the small puffs of air hitting his hand. It gained a relieved sign from Dean but it didn't ease his worries away.

Dean resisted the urge to groan at the damage the impala was in. It hadn't been that long since he fixed her.

Dean looked at Sam.

One thing at a time, he thought wanting nothing more than to get Sam back to Bobby's and giving him a once over.

They saw the old truck parked a sitting a few feet away from the impala. It was a beat up piece of metal with two different colors that were dull and lifeless.

Bobby was walked ahead a little and reached the truck before Dean. He went around to the passenger side and opened the door and helped Dean maneuver Sam to where he sit leaned back in the middle. Dean climbed in and shut the door. He reached over and shifted Sam so that his brothers head rested on his shoulder and he had an arm snaked around Sam's shoulders.

The door squeaked as Bobby got into the drivers seat. Bobby noticed the small trail of blood running down Sam's nose. He felt sympathetic for the kid. Both boys have been through so much and they never seemed to catch a break. Even before the wall came down Sam was a mess as he slowly regained those lost memories that he never should have to see because those memories were not his. Sure it was his body, his hands, but it wasn't him. Sam's soul was pure and at the time it was being ripped apart by Lucifer in the cage. It had nothing to do with what happened top side. Sam had no control over those things because he wasn't there in a sense and yet he just added on to Sam's guilt after the soulless part of Sam tried to gut him. He was afraid of him, hurt and he showed it through his actions and words whenever Sam was around or would call. He just doubled how Sam already felt; guilty, shameful and apologetic.

Sam didn't deserve that.

He started the truck and put it in drive. He turned around and headed back towards the house. "What are we going to do about God number two?" He asked.

Dean didn't answer at first. "Cas is gone. What he did, I just can't forgive that."

Bobby looked over at him. Dean's eyes saw straight ahead. His lips were formed in a straight line. Dean was angry and it was obvious exactly why.

Cas was their friend, a part of the family and he betrayed them.

"Cas is long gone. There's no coming back from that." He added not moving his attention off the road ahead of them.

Bobby didn't say any thing as he drove because deep down he couldn't say Dean was wrong.

•••Supernatural•••

Fire came to life angrily around him. The heat spiked as yellow and orange covered his body without mercy, claiming his flesh as their own. He could see them creeping at his sides and growing taller as they continued to flay him alive. One single word forming on his lips, past clenched teeth and anguished eyes.

"Dean!"

He yelled until he couldn't yell anymore. He called out to his brother even though Dean could not hear his desperate calls.

"Dean..." His brothers name was a whisper on his lips as he died along with the flames.

* * *

And if the night is burning,  
I will cover my eyes,  
For if the dark returns,  
Then my brothers will die,  
And as the sky is falling down,

I see fire...


End file.
